Condesendisplainin’
There is a pejorative word that is passed around to describe a habit ascribed to males who ‘talk down’ to females. This practice is termed ‘mansplaining’. I will attempt to refrain from explaining the term, lest some virtue signaling person becomes too offended. I will however like to throw my two cents in on this latest Us versus Them issue raised in feminist circles to throw another dart into the plain old activities of us beat up males.
Regardless of who is aggravating or annoying you be it male, female, your boss, co-workers, relatives, if someone is acting like a condescending twit, it gets on your nerves. But throwing around bait words such as mansplaining or femsplaining serves no purpose other than to purposely drive unnecessary wedges between the sexes.
As an example, if a woman understands vehicle maintenance, I can see how they are annoyed when mechanics or car salesmen (come to think of it, I can’t recall seeing too many car saleswomen) treat her differently compared to when they speak to a man. I don’t think there’s anything particularly nefarious in their attitudes other than they aren’t used to women knowing that much about vehicles. There’s always a certain amount of jerks that you’ll come across during your day, but that’s just life.
On the flip side, let’s explore the world of female condescension for a minute. Almost immediately upon birth, mother’s favourite words for her baby are No, No, No! By some accounts, toddlers hear the word No about 400 times a day. I find this annoying female habit continues on throughout a person’s entire life. Hang out in an elementary playground and just observe the mother’s clucking over the kids with the multitudes of Don’t do that, Get down from there, Be careful! Later in life, it turns to Do you know what you’re doing, That’s not the right way, No you’re wrong! Kids just ignore it as white noise and husbands hear it as nagging.
Again, I don’t believe most woman have nefarious reasons for habitually degrading the self-confidence of everyone around them. But for every mother holding their kid back, there’s usually a father who is firing up the chainsaw to cut the apron strings.
Perhaps everybody could learn to ask a few qualifying questions and listen to the person’s level of expertise to determine which level everyone is working on. This goes for adults interacting with kids. Don’t assume they don’t know what they’re doing, they’re smarter than a lot of parents and adults treat them. Also, don’t assume somebody needs or wants your ‘education’. The world is a lot of shades of grey (gray) and there’s more than one way of doing things. If someone needs to fall on their face to learn, stand back and learn how to pick up the pieces.
So for women who get annoyed with men and their explanations, try to have a bit of patience and understand they are trying to show off their self-worth. It’s part of their conditioning for making their way in a tough world. As for women, their conditioning involves a lot of safety, security, and planning for the long haul. So for men, try to understand women just want to talk things out and aren’t necessarily looking for detailed solutions.
For everyone, try to remember that old adage about the word ‘assume’. Ask a question or two first so that you don’t make a donkey’s butt out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.
Blair is a personification of a ‘Jack of All Trades and Master of None’. He has held several careers and has all the T-shirts. Time to add the title Blogger to the list.